No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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