fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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