we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
