Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
