I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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