As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Randomize
