i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
