I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Randomize
