Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
