If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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