I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
