I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
