biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
