508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Pants are for mortals
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
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