So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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