We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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