this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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