Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
