dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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