I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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