Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
