can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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