just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
