i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
