Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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