Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
