My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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