I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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