White coat. Heels.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.