Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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