I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize