I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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