my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This gyro tastes like lonliness
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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