She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
