I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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