I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Please, let me fuck your mom
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
