My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
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