i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize