I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
