wat bout pragnant strippers??
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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