I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Do vagina's smell?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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