I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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