Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
