I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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