Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
