Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
