i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
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I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
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