I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize
