That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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