How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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