When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
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