I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
vagina is talking i cant
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
