Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
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