Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Randomize
