I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
