i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
