Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Randomize
