theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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