Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
