She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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