small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
