"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
